All them lorries. It does make you think!

Non-computer-related chit-chat

Moderators: ChrisThornett, LXF moderators

All them lorries. It does make you think!

Postby bigjohn » Sun Oct 08, 2006 10:34 am

Recently, I've had lots of different stuff in the back of my Lorry (full weight 3 axle tractor and usually full weight tri-axle trailer - 44 tonnes gvw).

I've done a fair few loads of "cardboard" - though thats in rolls, going to the factory before it's made into corrugated stuff that makes the boxes.

The boss gets "us" to deliver the card and then pick up a "back load" to drop off locally before the trailer goes back to the port for onward passage to wherever in Europe.

My back loads, have mainly been "garden aggregates" i.e. like paving slabs, or fancy lawn edging or similar.

Last friday, it was a little different. I had too deliver 10 pallets full of "rubber stress breasts" and 4 pallets of "licking gel" (kiwi and cherry flavour) to a well known company that does lingerie, sex aids and stuff like that. There was a wagon in front of me that had another 12 pallets of various "lubricants" and one parked behind that had "dressing up fun" clothes (santa "suits" I think it was).

They in turn, had a pallet for me to collect. I turned out that it was about 500 "inflatable husbands" (though who'd want those or whether they were going back to the manufacturer for some reason - punctured??? :D :D :shock: ).

And yes, it did make me chuckle when I found out what I had in me wagon.

It also got me thinking. Yes, ok, you might be able to guess whats in the back of lorries that have brand or company names on them, but what about all those wagons that are unmarked or the ones that have some generic transport company name on them?

Of course, the style of some of them might be a giveaway i.e. flatbeds are for timber, aggregates and other stuff that isn't so weather dependant, but all those "curtain siders" or those containers with various international origins???

I mean, who'd admit working somewhere that makes condoms or something equally "seedy" (practical of course, but you do get a slightly seedy or tacky feeling about places that deal in such products).

It's gonna give me a real headache next week, just wondering what could possibly be in the next wagon to go past, in the other direction!
"What the large print giveth, the small print taketh away". Tom Waits
User avatar
bigjohn
LXF regular
 
Posts: 393
Joined: Tue Apr 12, 2005 10:19 pm
Location: UK - South Coast

RE: All them lorries. It does make you think!

Postby jjmac » Sun Oct 08, 2006 10:53 am

Just wear a disguise, like the one with the glasses and the nose.
That way you wont attract any attention (lol)

Sounds like the first company might be having a promotion/party ... trick is to figure how to get invited !

(hehe)

jm
http://counter.li.org
#313537

The FVWM wm -=- www.fvwm.org -=-

Somebody stole my air guitar, It happened just the other day,
But it's ok, 'cause i've got a spare ...
jjmac
LXF regular
 
Posts: 1996
Joined: Fri Apr 08, 2005 1:32 am
Location: Sydney, Australia

RE: All them lorries. It does make you think!

Postby MartyBartfast » Sun Oct 08, 2006 12:57 pm

Well about 20 years ago I worked for a Swiss bank, and occasionally they had bullion deliveries, but rather than coming in armoured Group 4 vans it came in what was superficially a a fruit & veg delivery truck. If you saw it driving round the M25 you would have thought it was just a load of brocolli, cabbage & stuff from Holland, but inside were 3 or 4 pallets of gold bricks!
I have been touched by his noodly appendage.
User avatar
MartyBartfast
LXF regular
 
Posts: 814
Joined: Mon Aug 22, 2005 7:25 am
Location: Hants, UK

RE: All them lorries. It does make you think!

Postby bigjohn » Sun Oct 08, 2006 7:41 pm

My point exactly - I mean, OK, the "stress breasts" are probably aimed at "David Brent" type characters who think they're the life and soul of the office etc etc.

But you just never know do you? All those wagons. I can recognise the plain ones that are likely too have food in them, as they're usually fridges, but if it's not grub that needs temp control, it's in the same kind of box or curtain sider that could have literally anything in them. You often get a good idea from the companies who's motors have "strong corporate identies", plus the "chines whispers" of the trade, but theres a hell of a lot of anonymous trucks out there.

I suppose it's just a matter of time before I end up with a wagon filled with stuff a lot more "sordid" than rubber boobs, licking gel and "inflatable husbands"! My gaffer obviously has some dubious connections :D
"What the large print giveth, the small print taketh away". Tom Waits
User avatar
bigjohn
LXF regular
 
Posts: 393
Joined: Tue Apr 12, 2005 10:19 pm
Location: UK - South Coast

RE: All them lorries. It does make you think!

Postby jjmac » Sun Oct 08, 2006 9:06 pm

Try to get some runs with fruit & veg trucks ...

Oh, the pain ...

Over here in Sydney there's a plaza in town called 'Martin Place' which has an underground train station. On standing at the top of the stairs on street level, and glancing to the right. One can't but help notice the building with tall ceilings and big , what looks like, brass doors. And the sign 'Australian Mint'. There are sidings leading off from the station. And a redundant aqua duct system under the ground.

I used to work for a govt dept once where i was involved in photographing old linen plans of Sydneys water system for microfiche storage.

Demi Moore would have to be in on it of course, hmmmm, one can but dream i suppose (grin)


jm
Last edited by jjmac on Mon Oct 09, 2006 2:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
http://counter.li.org
#313537

The FVWM wm -=- www.fvwm.org -=-

Somebody stole my air guitar, It happened just the other day,
But it's ok, 'cause i've got a spare ...
jjmac
LXF regular
 
Posts: 1996
Joined: Fri Apr 08, 2005 1:32 am
Location: Sydney, Australia

Postby Marrea » Mon Oct 09, 2006 12:09 pm

I love the idea of "inflatable husbands". So easy to shrink them down and shove them in a drawer for those times when you don't want them getting in the way and making the place look untidy. :lol:
User avatar
Marrea
LXF regular
 
Posts: 1873
Joined: Fri Apr 08, 2005 9:32 pm
Location: Chilterns, West Hertfordshire

Postby towy71 » Mon Oct 09, 2006 1:25 pm

:P :P :P
still looking for that door into summer
User avatar
towy71
Moderator
 
Posts: 4262
Joined: Wed Apr 06, 2005 2:11 pm
Location: wild West Wales

Postby Rhakios » Mon Oct 09, 2006 9:01 pm

Most women seem to have no trouble deflating their husbands and making them look very small :D
Bye, Rhakios
User avatar
Rhakios
Moderator
 
Posts: 7634
Joined: Wed Apr 06, 2005 11:18 pm
Location: Midlands, UK

Postby bigjohn » Mon Oct 16, 2006 8:18 pm

Well, according to the "gaffer" I've got another "run" to that well known purveyor of dubious products tomorrow. God alone knows what will be in the load - I know that I've to pick up some more of the licking gel first. I wonder if it'll be flavours other than cherry and kiwi or whatever it was last time???

If I find out, I'll post back! :D (laughing smiley used, as there doesn't seem to be a sniggering one)!
"What the large print giveth, the small print taketh away". Tom Waits
User avatar
bigjohn
LXF regular
 
Posts: 393
Joined: Tue Apr 12, 2005 10:19 pm
Location: UK - South Coast

Postby bigjohn » Sat Oct 21, 2006 2:46 pm

bigjohn wrote:Well, according to the "gaffer" I've got another "run" to that well known purveyor of dubious products tomorrow. God alone knows what will be in the load - I know that I've to pick up some more of the licking gel first. I wonder if it'll be flavours other than cherry and kiwi or whatever it was last time???

If I find out, I'll post back! :D (laughing smiley used, as there doesn't seem to be a sniggering one)!

Ha ha! They cancelled the collection of the licking gel - apparently it wasn't ready.

So this time, it was "bondage kits" and chocolate body paint (which I understand is also for licking).

Funny old world eh!

regards

John
"What the large print giveth, the small print taketh away". Tom Waits
User avatar
bigjohn
LXF regular
 
Posts: 393
Joined: Tue Apr 12, 2005 10:19 pm
Location: UK - South Coast

Postby Rhakios » Sat Oct 21, 2006 9:54 pm

bigjohn wrote:
So this time, it was "bondage kits"
John


Hmm, I was surprised and disappointed to learn that gimp masks aren't something that make you look like Wilbur.

:(
Bye, Rhakios
User avatar
Rhakios
Moderator
 
Posts: 7634
Joined: Wed Apr 06, 2005 11:18 pm
Location: Midlands, UK

Postby nelz » Sat Oct 21, 2006 10:14 pm

bigjohn wrote:Ha ha! They cancelled the collection of the licking gel - apparently it wasn't ready.


It makes you wonder what you have to do to licking gel to make it ready (aside from warming it up, of course :))
"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." (Albert Einstein)
User avatar
nelz
Site admin
 
Posts: 8468
Joined: Mon Apr 04, 2005 11:52 am
Location: Warrington, UK

Postby jjmac » Sun Oct 22, 2006 9:28 am

I like chocolate :)
http://counter.li.org
#313537

The FVWM wm -=- www.fvwm.org -=-

Somebody stole my air guitar, It happened just the other day,
But it's ok, 'cause i've got a spare ...
jjmac
LXF regular
 
Posts: 1996
Joined: Fri Apr 08, 2005 1:32 am
Location: Sydney, Australia

Postby Rhakios » Sun Oct 22, 2006 10:49 am

<mode=facetious>
Perhaps this is the real reason for the epidemic of obesity in this country. Once upon a time sexual activity provided a good aerobic workout for couples: now it's just an excuse to pig out on chocolate!
</mode>
Bye, Rhakios
User avatar
Rhakios
Moderator
 
Posts: 7634
Joined: Wed Apr 06, 2005 11:18 pm
Location: Midlands, UK

Postby jjmac » Sun Oct 22, 2006 11:17 am

ahhhh, of course, i think you may have just hit on it Rhakios !
what's needed is health licks (grin).


jm


A Random Thought:

Are dinosaurs really extinct, or are they just really good at hiding ?
http://counter.li.org
#313537

The FVWM wm -=- www.fvwm.org -=-

Somebody stole my air guitar, It happened just the other day,
But it's ok, 'cause i've got a spare ...
jjmac
LXF regular
 
Posts: 1996
Joined: Fri Apr 08, 2005 1:32 am
Location: Sydney, Australia

Next

Return to Off Topic

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest